Nothing More than Tools
I've hesitated to do any large update up to this point because I dont think I will be able to adequately put into words what I have experienced in just three weeks. In fact, I am certain that I will not be able to do that. What I have experienced here is beyond mere words, both the joys and struggles. But I also dont think that means I shouldnt try, actually I think it'd be wrong not to. And so here is my attempt.
Let me begin by saying that this experience has already been one of, if not the, greatest experiences of my life. I love adventure and new experiences and this journey has been jam packed with both.
But in no way has it been easy.
For those of you who dont know, my internship is in the Mathare Valley. Mathare is a slum in Nairobi county Kenya. All of Mathare takes up about 2 square miles. Within these 2 square miles live 800,000 people. In case you missed that, Mathare is a 2 square mile slum that is home to eight. hundred. thousand. beautiful people. I wish I could do a good enough job of describing the paradox of the deep poverty and yet deep beauty here, but sense I can't I'm not going to even try because it would be doing it all an injustice. I have never seen poverty on such a scale as this and it is heartbreaking to say the least. But neither have I seen compassion, hope, and love like I have here.
Of all of the struggles that I have experienced thus far in Mathare, the hardest has been understanding my role here. One of my "jobs" as an intern is to go around with a local pastor/discipleship officer and share the gospel with those who are lost and encourage those who have been found.
This ministry is by far one of the most humbling, challenging and rewarding things I have ever done.
It's challenging because I often feel that as a white well off American I don't have the right to speak into this person's life that I have no clue about. And it is humbling because thinking that way just shows the pride in my heart. Yes, I don't have that right because I'm not from even a remotely similar situation. Of course I don't have anything to say that can properly heal their situation. Obviously I can only empathize to a certain degree. No, I don't have much to say to this person in the situation they are in.
But that's exactly the point isn't it?
I don't, but God does. And time and again when I have no clue what to say when it is my turn to encourage or pray, God points me to a verse in Scripture or my mouth opens and words come out that even as I'm saying them I don't know where they're coming from. And each time I wonder where it came from I'm reminded that the only answer is God himself using a foolish, white, spoiled, prideful, twenty one year old as a vessel for himself to speak into this precious person's situation and bring healing only he can.
These three weeks have been some of the most humbling of my life because I have had to face the facts that this internship, this ministry, this life is not about me at all. I say that a lot, "Oh life isnt about me" because I know it's the right answer. Yet I live, talk, and think like it actually is about me. Like the saving of someone's soul depends on me and the "right words". Like the reconciling of this world back to God rests on my shoulders. As if, if I say the wrong thing or don't do something "right" I've screwed up God's plan or opportunity to act. Like I actually have that power. We are nothing more than tools, vessels, and clay—incapable of doing anything on our own—that the only One who actually can do anything about anything has graciously decided to work through. And what an humbling honor that is. Ministry is grace and the "success" or "failure" of ministry is grace because it's his power and his work, and we(I) reek of pride when we think otherwise.
So yes, Mathare is dark. It's dark because of the poverty, the injustice, the sin, and the pain. It's dark because of the hurt that is so deep it's hard to fathom. It's dark because of the lack of hope.
But Mathare shines brighter than almost anywhere I've ever been before. It's bright because there is an amazing amount of hope here. It's bright because of the smiles and sweet faces of the children. It's bright because of the mothers and fathers sacrificing in order to provide the little they can for their children. And it's bright because of the people who are passionate about seeing the people and communities of Mathare transformed for the glory of our God who wants the same.
The Kenyan workers and American missionaries that I have been blessed to meet and work with are some of the most Christ like people on the planet. Their self-sacrifice, meekness, and love for Christ and the people of Mathare have truly made an impact in the 15 years they have been working here. Hearing the stories of transformation on an individual and communal level in only 15 years is inspiring. And to think of where Mathare will be in another 15 years and 15 more after that fills me with joy.
The people who work here are truly the hands and feet of Jesus. They realize it isn't about them. They have accepted the difficulty of the mission. And all they do each day is allow Christ to flex his power where he will by the power of his Spirit for the eternal glory of the Father. And I am blessed, honored, and humbled to join alongside them as they do. And I only hope and pray to do the same.
Please pray for the ministry here and for our team as we seek to be open to how Christ would use us each day. I am having one of the best times of my life and I can't thank you all enough for allowing God to use you in the ministry in Mathare too by supporting me in the many ways you have. I haven't gone into too much detail here because that would take a book; but if you would like to know more about my first three weeks here or have specific questions about anything please feel free to message me on Facebook or email me at ZCHollifield@my.milligan.edu.
I love you all so much. Eat some Barberitos and hug my mom and Gran Pati for me. Until next time, "catch you on the flippity flip"- M.S.
"He must increase, I must decrease." John 3:30
ZCH