"All Things"
I'm a big believer in Romans 8:28, "We know that for those who love God all things work together for their good, for those called according to his purposes." That God works "ALL THINGS" together for our good. And I truly believe my and Sydney's story displays that.
In 2015 I was accepted to a missions internship program through Christian Missionary Fellowship. I would be spending two months in the Mathare Valley slum in Nairobi, Kenya. I would be doing so with 8 female interns and 2 male interns. That is until the two guys dropped out at the last moment and it became 8 girls and me, thus our team's hashtag: #ZachAndTheLadies. "All things." Before I left for training in Indiana my mom said to me half-jokingly, "Zach, what if you meet your wife on this trip?" We both knew that was ridiculous because 1) I wasn't going there for that reason and 2) the odds of the woman I would spend the rest of my life with being on this team weren't likely.
I strongly believe that our team was the best team of interns to ever do the internship. Katie, Sarah, Summer, Taylor, Courtney, Jordan, Brianna, and Sydney are the most incredible women I have ever met. Their passion for the Lord and others is inspiring to say the least and I was blessed to get to know and build friendships with each one of them. But from the start there was something about the girl on our team from Phoenix.
I worked with pastors every day of my internship visiting people, praying for them, and even sharing the gospel with some who had never heard it. But because of this I never worked with any of the girls during the workday. That is except for Mondays, on which Sydney and I were placed at the same center in the slum. "All things." And so, every Monday for eight weeks, Sydney and I worked together, ate together, read scripture and prayed together. We watched each other stumble through sharing Scripture with those in the slum, and she watched me awkwardly attempt to teach about HIV/AIDs prevention and struggle to eat Githeri. Little and big things—'all things"—like that done together in the name of Christ for 8 weeks. On the surface that may not sound like much. And at the time it didn't seem like much either. But looking back on it all it's overwhelming clear that God's fingerprints are on all of it.
Working in a slum is one of the most spiritually and emotionally intense situations you can find yourself in. There is darkness everywhere and you, this girl from Arizona, and a Kenyan pastor named Nelson have been tasked with taking the greatest news of hope the world has ever known to people lost in utter hopelessness. That will build a supernatural bond like you've never experienced. You're watching each other play with kids, and hug the "dirty," and love the broken, and share the gospel of Christ's death for sinners. You see them live out the talents God has gifted them with and live into the person he created them to be. Add to all that the fact you're regularly reading the word of God and praying to him together and the result isn't that hard to figure: I fell hard for that girl from Phoenix, Arizona. And somehow, she fell for me too.
So we went home. But we decided to just be friends and get to know each other more that way because neither of us were sure if we could do the long-distance thing. So we did the long and hard and confusing season of trying to be just friends when you know the "friend" you like also likes you. We decided to text only in the mornings, but when we couldn't stop the we switched to only texting at night. Then we decided just a Facetime sesh at the end of each day to catch up (which was probably the most couple-esque thing you can do). We tried everything. About three months of this with me just wondering why in the world are we delaying the inevitable, but Sydney wisely heeding Scripture's advice "not [to] stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time" [Song of Solomon 2:7]. And I'm so glad we did because love awoken before it's ready usually goes back to sleep forever. "All things."
But at the end of December of that year that time came. We had talked in October that if we both felt the same in December I would buy a ticket to come see her. So I flew to Phoenix to see Sydney for the first time since August. That night I took her out to dinner. Or rather, she took me because I had never been to Phoenix and because…she paid. That's right. Our first date; which the past 5 months had led up to; this huge momentous moment; the crux of our entire relationship up to that point is upon us and I forgot my wallet in my backpack at her house when we had dropped my luggage off. Definitely one of the most embarrassing moment of my life. But Sydney, as she always does, smiled and with grace and humility paid for the meal and has never let me forget it. (I did pay her back when we got back to the apartment).
I asked her to be my girlfriend from a cloudless mountain overlook of Phoenix with Yellow playing in the background. I know ladies, I know. She said she'd think about it…just kidding she said, "Yes." From there we have traveled back and forth about every three months for about 10 days each time. It has been one of the hardest experience I have ever had. But it has also been filled with the most joy. I never thought I could do long-distance dating and now, and I believe she'd agree, I think it is maybe the best way to do it. "All things."
On March 11, 2016 after surprising her by coming to Tucson for my Spring break and walking two miles in Tucson to get flowers because she was having a bad day, I told her I loved her and she told me the same.
Then, on September 2, 2016 I drove us up to Roan Mountain got down on a knee and asked her to marry me. She told me the ring box was upside down—have you picked up on the fact that I'm super composed around this woman? I flipped it right-side-up and she said, "Yes."
I truly believe that when Paul said "All things" work together for our good he meant "all things." And while I think there is a greater good that mine and Sydney's relationship is being worked towards, I can't help but look back and see all these other things being worked together to bring Sydney and I to be one. From being placed on the same team to the way our team was formed, to being placed together on Mondays, to our grocery shopping and frozen yogurt runs at the mall on Saturdays, to waiting until the right time to begin to intentionally pursue one another…The list goes on and on and I'm positive that there are a thousands things that were also being worked together that I can't see yet. Only the Lord could have made this story what it is. Only the Lord could have brought us together and kept us together through it all. Only the Lord could have done this. And so it is to him that we give glory for this relationship and "All things."
-Zach